Farewell to my Son Sam

At the top of my list for “things I will never regret” I would have to list homeschooling my children to be in the top 5. What a privilege it has been to parent and teach my son Sam for the past 10 years.  Even if he moves half way around the world, I know I have spent more time with my son than most parents spend in a lifetime.  What a treasure it has been to be both his teacher and his mom.

Please indulge me for a moment as I share some final thoughts on his life.

The last 2 years of Sam’s high school years were spent attending college at our local community college in town. So, this past Wed. my 18 year old son Sam graduated from high school and received his AA degree on the same day.  He received a 3.9 GPA while attending the college.  I am thankful for God’s grace and provision, that I do not deserve, but are thankful for God’s gracious answers to my lifelong prayers.  

God has been faithful to answer my prayers concerning Sam.  I remember so well when I discovered I was pregnant with him.  I had yearned my whole life to be a mom.  While other young women around me were having dreams of a career, I was having dreams of being a mom.  I remember immediately following my discovery of being pregnant, I cried out to God while I was driving down the road in my car.  I pleaded with God to cause this child to serve Him and follow Him all the days of his life.  This pregnancy was a gift that I did not take for granted.

As Sam grew I noticed he had a very perceptive mind and tender heart.  He was the kind of boy that asked deep thoughtful questions.  He had a hunger to learn about Jesus and wanted to know Him in a mature manner that very few children possess.  When he was 3 he wanted to ask him to be his Savior.  I would doubt the understanding that most 3 year old kids would have, but with Sam I never doubted. 

As Sam went into his elementary years he continued to proclaim the name of Jesus through his passion of Creationism.  He knew every angle of the creation vs. evolution debate because he watched the “Back to Genesis” video series of lectures over and over.  He went to a public school for one year and I remember him coming home saying that the kids chased him around the playground calling him “Bible boy” because he would always say “that’s not what the Bible says” during class discussions.  I didn’t know if I should cry with agony over his pain, or shout with joy knowing that he was boldy proclaiming the truth.  Needless to say, we have homeschooled ever since.

Sam has continued to proclaim the truth, and knowing how he has struggled with shyness his whole life, I find this all to be amazing. Whatever he does, he does thoughtfully and diligently as unto the Lord and he rarely grumbles or complains.  No, he is not perfect. I’ll graciously leave out his faults at this time.  But…above all, he loves Jesus. 

Sam has big dreams.  He loves to write stories and write music and he is able to put great depth into his projects that stirs the soul.  I don’t know where life will take him, but as long as he loves Jesus, he will be a success. I love you my son.  You are a blessing to me and I thank God for allowing me to be your mom.

Published in: on May 18, 2009 at 4:34 am  Comments (1)  

Most Moms Would Die for Their Kids…Very Few Would LIVE For Them

Think about the proceeding statement.  I truly believe that most moms, even disfunctional moms, would risk their life to save their child.  Yet, I am finding it more and more difficult to find moms that are willing to LIVE for their kids. 

My heart is heavy and my spirit is weary.  I feel like the traditional role of mothering is under attack from the media, culture and even the church. Yes, I may come across a bit too fiesty.  I apologize.  I just feel under attack from so many corners.  I want to defend the concept of Biblical Motherhood. 

I have certainly had my moments of failure and have been selfish.  I have had to confess my sin to God and my family as I have felt the tug of the “world” on my heart from time to time. 

 Let us all use the following questions to assess our hearts:

How many moms are willing to put their own aspirations on hold to raise their kids?  How many moms are willing to adjust their schedules to accommodate their kids needs?  How many moms are willing to say no to endless activities, so they can spend more time as a family?  How many moms are willing to say no to certain TV shows, unhealthy friendships (even among Christian kids), and music that dishonors God?  How many moms are willing to “stop and smell the roses” with their children and relish in the moments of childhood?  How many moms are willing to say no to volunteering to impress their church or neighbors and spend more time discipling their own children in the Word?  How many moms are willing to spend time helping their kids memorize Bible verses just as passionately as they help them memorize States and Capitols?  How many moms are willing to discipline sinful attitudes rather than “look the other way”?  How many moms are willing to say no to immodest dress?  How many moms are willing to say no to dating to protect their child’s heart and body?  How many are willing to be the primary caretaker of their children rather than letting a daycare raise their child?

Most mothers today are more concerned about their own career, their own image, their own achievement, their own pocketbook, their own reputation, their own agenda…etc., and the women inside the church are  just as guilty as those outside the church. 

If you doubt me, look how quickly the Evangelicals supported and sang the praises of Sarah Palin.  Very few “Evangelical Christians” raised any concerns about her self-centered lifestyle and the lack of priority to her husband and children.   As for running for VP…what about the obvious knowledge that the media would devour her pregnant teen’s life if Sarah chose to run for VP?  There is no position in the world that would convince me to accept, if it meant that my daughter’s life would be torn apart.  The liberal media did not treat her fairly, and politically I would agree with her on most issues, however, her first priority needs to be to her 5 children and husband. 

 I was so elated to hear an Evangelical leader have the courage to speak out on this subject.  I truly admire Voddie Baucham for saying what many of us were thinking.  Please take the time to watch this interview he did with CNN on Sarah Palin on YouTube (click here).  Voddie preaches the Gospel to the culture and does not twist the Scripture to adapt to our own desires.  He’s one of the few public preachers in America that I admire.

I beseech the women and young ladies to embrace motherhood as a gift and treasure.  Time so quickly runs out and we will never get those moments back.  When all is said and done, WE (parents) will have to answer to God and give an account for how we raised our children, not the babysitter or relatives. That is truly a humbling thought to me.

How will we answer when the Lord asks us if we were faithful to present our children as living examples of  Jesus Christ?

Published in: on May 11, 2009 at 2:03 am  Comments (1)  

Down With Prom

What is the purpose of prom?  I guess I am just saddened by the whole affair.  I know from my own high school days 20+ years ago what goes on….I guess I am skeptical that things have improved being how every decade the culture slips further into the darkness.

As an adult who is well aware of what goes on at your typical prom, I am now looking at the whole scenario from a wiser perspective.  I am deeply saddened by the whole concept. 

Before I address my concerns, let me tell you that I attended a public high school and 2 proms.  Both were a total waste of time.  I remember wearing a strapless pink dress that was SO not modest.  I attended the latter of my proms with a boy who wasn’t my boyfriend and was not an admirable young man.  I was a Christian and had no intention of dating him, but I still went forward with a sublte flirtatious attitude.  I was a born again Christian, I did not “party” and was a pretty straight laced girl, but I was far from being the Godly young woman that I knew I should be.  I repent of my folly and deeply desire my own children to live a more Godly life.  So far my teenagers are living far more Godly lives than I lived and I give credit to the grace of God and the wisdom of the Word of God that has pierced their hearts.

Here is what troubles me about prom:


99% of every girl attending prom is dressed immodestly.  Even the strongest of Christian young men could not possibly keep their eyes and heart pure the whole evening.  Women and girls just have no idea how difficult it is for men to not lust, so when we add enticing “eye candy” in front of them how are they supposed to not struggle? 


Let’s just assume that most proms are in a public school.  What is the tone of the music that is played?  It usually has a strong sexual undertone.  Even if you go with a “friend”, by the end of the evening either the boy or the girl are entertaining thoughts of  “what would it be like to kiss them?”  Now add in close dancing and the stage is being set for disaster.


My brother once told me, “nothing good happens after midnight.”  Why is it ok to stay up all night or at least come home at a late hour, when any other time of the year your average parent would never allow such a behavior?  If the stage has been set for disaster, then allowing after prom parties into the wee hours of the night is ludicrous.  Does everyone misbehave?  No, but even if you go home right after the dance, what has been gained by the evening?

When I try to bring my concerns to other Christian parents most of them look at me like I am a crazy mom.   I do find it funny that I posted my status on Facebook as “Down with Prom” and I heard a reply from a former high school aquaintance that is not a believer and is quite liberal.  He said, “you know what, I had the same problem last week..” 

If you are on the fence about this, just ask yourself, “would you wear these clothes to church, listen to the prom music in front of your parents or want your future mate to see a video of this evening?”  If you are still thinking I’m a bit extreme, then take a look at the book, “Every Man’s Battle” and read first hand accounts of real men who plead with other men and women to take the issue of lust seriously.

  As a Mom….. I say down with prom.

Published in: on May 8, 2009 at 4:37 pm  Comments (1)  

Hollywood is NOT “Green”

One thing that utterly drives me crazy is “earth week”, because the people that are proclaiming this environmental week are so out of touch with what it really means to be “green”.  I believe that we are to be a good stewards of the earth and recycle and reuse whenever possible.  On the surface that is what “earth week people” would say too, but once you look deeper you will see they have no clue about what it means to be “green”. 

Let me give the following advice to Hollywood “green” people:

1. Only own ONE house….and preferablly a smaller home that uses less energy.

2. Don’t hire other people to do jobs around your house that you could do yourself (think of the gas it would save from having them “drive” to your home).

3.  Wear only USED clothes…trying shopping at THRIFT stores rather than buying new clothes. 

4.  Buy USED furniture; we will save items from going to the landfill.

5.  DON’T REMODEL your home for the sake of cosmetic changes…aren’t you just adding to the landfills?? 

6.  DON’T go on long distance VACATIONS…you’ll save gas.

7.  DON’T go out to eat; you’ll save gas and money.

8.  Take public transportation. 

9.  Don’t use haircolor or nail polish…don’t they pollute the water???

10.  Ugh….my last one is “controversial”…but is anyone else perplexed and frustrated by the “energy efficient” light bulbs?  They do NOT last like they say they do, they are twice as expensive AND…don’t they contain mercury?? (I’m not sure if they do but if so…that is very dangerous for the soil and water). 

Hey, I don’t always do all of the “enironmentally friendly” choices that I mentioned above.  But unlike the famous spokespeople, I am not advocating that we should all drive gazillion dollar hybrid cars, put $50,000 solar panels in our homes or to run out and buy all new appliances that are energy efficient.  I find it hilarious that Martha Stewart was showcasing “earth day” when she owns a bunch of homes that are most likely sitting empty and wasting resources.  If famous people want to be helpful to the earth they should “downsize” and stop wasting their money on useless items and traveling just to live a life of jet setting.

  I don’t have a problem with someone using their money for some luxuries…just please DON”T lecture me on being “green”.

Published in: on May 7, 2009 at 3:39 am  Comments (2)  

The Hidden Purpose of Pain

Pain. No one likes it. No one in their right mind would seek it out.  Pain. It is inevitable in life, yet why do we seem so surprised when it knocks at our door?  How can we embrace pain as a gift from God while still seeking deliverance? How can we endure pain if we believe that there is no purpose for this event?

Let me first say that I have endured some levels of pain in my life.  I have had some serious illnesses, surgeries, sudden death of my dad at age 20, agonizing silence of waiting for God to bring deliverance for a problem, and yet I have yet to experience the agony that many people endure for the sake of the Gospel.  There are so many situations of suffering that God has spared me from enduring and I have been shown His undeserving Grace. 

So, how do I respond to others when they wonder how to deal with suffering? 

This December I had the opportunity to meet some young women who had been adopted from foreign countries.  Their stories have a happy ending, but they both had a very painful road.  As they tried to see some purpose for why their lives had to take so many horrific paths, I was reminded of some people in history that probably wondered the same thing.

The first person is Joseph, the son of Jacob.  He was left for dead and sold into slavery by his brothers.  Then he spent a number of years in prison after falsely being accused of a crime he didn’t commit.  Wow, now that’s a tough life.  While he was enduring his hardship he had no idea what the outcome would be and when or if his deliverance would come.  He had no idea that he would be given a position of high importance enabling him to deliver his people from starvation…all because he was put into slavery and sold to that particular country.  As Joseph said, “what man meant for evil, God meant for good.” 

The second person is Squanto…you know, the Native American who helped the Pilgrims survive their first winter in a new land.  What you may not know, is that he just happened to speak English only because he had been captured as a slave by some “Englishmen” and brought back to Europe with them.  At some point he ended up hearing the Gospel and some believe he became a Christian.  His capture proved to be even more providential when he finally returned back to America to find his whole village dead from a sickness.  It was no “accident” that the Pilgrims landed at the same spot as where his village had lived.  The Pilgrims wanted to sail further south, but winter was setting in and they were running out of time, so they had to stay put.  Had Squanto not been taken as a slave, he too would be dead.  Does that mean that it was “right” that those people took him as a slave?  Of course not!  But, it does mean that there was a purpose…”what man meant for evil, God meant for good”.  His knowledge saved the lives of many Pilgrims who would have otherwise perished. 

As I reflect back on the two young women who were adopted I am amazed to hear how they came to Christ.  Had they not endured such a horrible start to their life would they have been given the opportunities that they now have with their loving family?  I believe God will use their past sufferings to not only bring God Glory, but use them to minister the the needs of other young girls who are struggling with adoption, abandonment, and loss.  I am so excited to see what God has planned for their lives.  If you would like to read more about their story take a look at their family’s blog site highlighting the adoption of 8 of their 11 kids. www.adoption316.wordpress.com

May all pain lead us to see more clearly the Glory of God and make us more like Jesus….which is a good thing!

Published in: on May 2, 2009 at 4:52 am  Leave a Comment  

Square Peg in a Round World

This is my first post and no, it will not be a deep theological or political issue, but it is a bit “radical”.  I just want to get to know my readers and for them to get inside my head a little.  So, try this topic on for size:

Hey, what can I say….I guess I have never fit the mold of any particular group.  To make my point, let me give you the following examples:


First of all, I am an outgoing introvert (yes, there is such a thing).  I am more comfortable doing public speaking than I am talking one on one, yet I prefer a few close friends over a bunch of “acquaintances”.  I hate walking into a room full of people I know, but I love talking to strangers on an airplane or when I travel.  I love getting to know the housekeepers at motels and would much rather talk to them than the “famous” speakers at the conference that is my usual reason for the motel visit. 


I love music and theater, but don’t exactly fit in completely with the artsy lifestyle.  I am “ok” with athletics, but never aggressive enough.  I am not a tomboy and don’t enjoy camping, yet I love getting grubby and working in the dirt (I still love to wear earrings while I work). I am a free spirit who loves order. I like order and structure but need to “think outside the box”.  


I grew up on a farm, but hated farm life…yet  I am NOT a “city slicker” and I prefer the “country”.  I have lived in a small town, medium town, large town and a large city, but “I still can’t say that any one of them really made me jump up and down with joy.


  I grew up in a large family, but  I never wanted a large family, but I married someone that wanted 10 kids…now I can’t imagine my life without my 5 kids. I started having kids at age 23 when all of my friends were still single, so our friends were 30 something couples.  I am still having kids when all of my friends only have teenagers…so now I still don’t fit my age demographics.  I have had a C-section, natural birth, foreign adoption and domestic adoption.


I have taught in a public school, private school and I have homeschooled my kids. I have attended a public school and a private school as a student.   I am a strong advocate for women to devote their lives to their family by staying home full time, yet I have a college degree and am an intellectual. 


I am a Reformed Charismatic, which really confuses people.  I adhere to an absolute truth,  yet believe that the church needs to adapt its’ STYLE to speak to the culture without compromising the message (not always popular in the church).  I am a complimentarian (males are the leaders of the church and home; men should be the providers of the home.  I believe that wearing jeans to church and raising hands in worship is an awesome thing and should be embraced by the church, and stuffy religious services make me nauseous.  I believe that my  family is my most important ministry not “church functions”; I believe most ministry should be done as a Family and not necessarily in the 4 walls of the church.  I am not into the “churchy-churchy” lifestyle, even though I am a pastor’s wife.   I love “passionate” worship music that has substance, but I don’t really like hymns…I like the words, but hate the way that most churches sing them.

I have “grumbled” many times throughout my life because “I didn’t fit into a mold”, yet I finally have come to embrace my personality and gifts.  Because of my multi-layered personality, I have been able to relate to almost every demographic for some reason or another.  Many times I can understand what makes people “tick” if they too don’t fit a mold.  I tend to not tolerate people who thrive on being in a “clique”.  I tend to “march to the beat of my own drummer” and hate it when people play politics (ie. try to be all things to all people in order to gain favor or have people “like” you) 

Being a “square peg”  has enabled me to see through the flakiness of people and pursue relationships of depth.  I desire to deeply connect with the heart of people…square pegs long to be understood.  Square pegs are not “status quos”.  Square pegs see the world from a different perspective.  I love discovering other “square pegs”…especially children and young adults because they yearn to be understood and often feel they are walking alone.  So, if you are a square peg, let me know who you are and share your story. 

 So, three cheers for “square pegs”!  Hip hip hooray, hip hip hooray, hip hip hooray….ok, that was corny….maybe it was something that a “square peg “would do! Ha!  It’s hip to be “square”.

Published in: on April 28, 2009 at 4:55 am  Comments (3)